The Reality Of Loneliness

I posted something on my FB page recently on loneliness, and it has received a relatively high number of responses. 

This is the quote by Carl Jung:

Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. 

This is true and I do have to agree up to a certain extent. Let me explain. 

We all go through different levels of growth and maturity, and when we were young, if we were ostracised as a child or a teenager, it can be a very difficult situation to handle as we do not yet have the emotional capacity to handle the rejection. And this can feel lonely.

However, there are some, depending on their mindsets who will not see this as rejection, but maybe more of a blessing, if they are very introverted and would rather be left alone and to be in their own world. And maybe they become the observers of people and pick up invaluable skills for later on in life. 

As we enter young adulthood, we begin to see how different our interests may be. from all of our friends. Those who choose the mainstream route, look for a job, get into a relationship, get married, have kids, may not have the time or space to process everything that is going on, they may not be conscious of this, as they are shipped off in their conveyor belts until one day, they realised doing everything that society, the family expects of them is really not what they want. This is when loneliness can set in. 

For some, the loneliness sets in further down the road, when the kids grow up and do their own thing, and they realised that their identity has been too tied to being a parent, they no longer know who they are. 

Others who choose not to marry, or have kids may decide to focus on travel, personal development, business etc, and they may very much enjoy the alone time, until they realise that they no longer know what they are doing, and what are they living for, this is when loneliness can set in. 

Now, I'm not saying that everyone who goes through the above, will feel lonely. Some won't not because they are happy, but because they are unconscious or asleep. 

You see, loneliness is in a strange sense can be a catalyst for a deeper and greater connection with self and one's own inner power. And it is something that everyone will experience at least in one period of their lives. But it is a "dangerous" zone to be in, if one is not seeking help to see how this loneliness can be a good thing. One can tip over the other side and get into depressive states. 

How can loneliness be a good thing? Loneliness, like fear, gets us into a state where, if we are patient and introspective, can help us to see, use and experience life in a way that can propel us forward by leaps and bounds. But I caution you that if you find yourself sinking into hopelessness or just plain numbness, you must seek professional help as this may not be something you can do on your own. And it is absolutely ok to get help. 

If you are able to use the loneliness and get into a deeper understanding of yourself and connect more profoundly with your spiritual self, you will realise that the loneliness while may occur as part of your process is really an illusion. Because experiencing yourself as one with the universe (in a real way, not a delusional way to escape from life) is extremely liberating. You feel and experience the pulse of life, with the pulse of the universe and the humanity within you, and your own pulse is in sync and unison with all of that, and there is nothing lonely about this. 

The thing is those pseudo-psychological quotes on loneliness such as It Is Lonely At The Top, comes from the perspective of one who has not transcended the ego's perspective of what it means to be lonely and alone. And this can mislead people if their worldviews are not yet mature. 

I admire the work of Carl Jung and I do believe his quote came from the context of while one is still in process of transcending loneliness, his later works proved that. 

So in your journey of personal growth and development, I cheer you on to use courage in your journey to face the loneliness, to have the courage to ask for help, and to have the courage to admit to yourself what isn't working in your life. 

Blessings always.

©2021 Shamala Tan

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Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.

One of her success stories as an author is to being featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.

Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.