Obstacles to healing

One of the biggest obstacles to healing is when you're given a cookie-cutter answer or solution to something that is uniquely your experience. Have you ever experienced this?

Now, most of our problems are similar in the sense that there is a baseline in what kinds of thoughts/emotions surface in our experiences. However what makes us unique is how we experience our challenges, problems or trauma. We all carry different understanding, perspectives, and even our family background plays such an important role in how we experience things. 

So when you seek healing and you are told by well-meaning friends, counsellors or therapists certain ways of doing something because it is a "proven method", the value of the healing process seems to be diminished. Because sometimes, these are cookie-cutter methods that may not necessarily work for you. 

We each experience life differently, and one of the biggest obstacles to healing is using "proven methods". We are not computers or robots where we just install anti-virus to wipe out the "bad" experiences. Neither can we reboot our systems to start afresh. Whatever we have experienced in our lives, STAYS WITH US FOREVER. It is how we are using these experiences to learn and grow, it is about how we overcome the experiences to see and experience our true nature. Because these experiences are not us, they are not our identity. But they can help us to grow if we know how to use them properly.

Many people are searching for that one method that can cure or heal or take away their problems. It doesn't exist. This is another one of the biggest obstacles to healing because people expect a silver platter presented for their healing without doing any work. 

I have to be honest here, healing is very very difficult. Because you are confronted by your own stuff, you may not like to hear or see your own weaknesses, you want to stay in your comfort zone because no one is calling you out. No one is saying all the things you don't want to hear or see. 

But true healing takes place only when you are willing to have the courage to see your stuff. Own it, admit it, and open the doors to deepen your understanding of the whats, whys and hows. It is not fun. It takes courage, and only people with healthy mindsets will seek help, and usually, the people who need to heal the most avoid it the most, and they think it is not important or they convince themselves that they are ok. 

Another obstacle to healing is when you want to be coddled. Your wounds can be raw, and when you want to be coddled in the name of healing, you are barking up the wrong tree. When your wounds are raw, you need someone to hold the space for you because you do not have the strength to do so. But your coach/therapist/counsellor cannot parent you, that job is yours. If you expect your healer to parent you and say only nice things to you, not only do you not heal, you will repeat the patterns like a sick child. If you just want to be pampered, go to a spa but don't expect to be healed from your inner issues/challenges/wounds.

We can always find excuses as to why we need not seek healing because there are more excuses available to not want to heal than the reasons why you should. The only reason you want to heal is to become whole, but becoming whole is painful and this is one big obstacle to healing. 

If you can find just one reason why you need to be whole and how wholeness can bring you a level of peace, joy and abundance nothing else can, you have hit the jackpot. 

You only need ONE reason, find it. 

©2020 Shamala Tan

Let me know how I can assist you if you have any questions [email protected]
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.

One of her success stories as an author is to being featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.

Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.