Know Who You Are: Reclaiming Your Truth

Ever found yourself scrolling through social media, thinking, “Wait, am I supposed to be like that?” You know the feeling—those moments when everyone seems to have a strong opinion on who you should be. They tell you how to dress, how to act, and even how to think. Before you know it, you're morphing into someone else’s idea of "you," like a chameleon without the cool colour-changing powers.

But here’s the truth: when you don’t truly know who you are, other people will gladly fill in the blanks for you. And the longer you let them, the more you start to believe that their version of you is the real deal. 

Letting Others Write Your Story
Picture this: you’re a blank canvas, full of potential and ready to express your unique masterpiece. Now imagine someone else walking up and slapping a neon pink splotch right in the middle. Then another person adds a zig-zag, and someone else smears some glitter (because why not?). Pretty soon, your canvas looks like a chaotic mess of other people's ideas, expectations, and insecurities.

This is exactly what happens when we let others define us. Their opinions, judgements, and projections start to take over, and slowly, we begin to believe that’s who we really are. We internalise their doubts and limitations, allowing them to shape our identity.

And here’s the kicker: most of the time, people aren’t even projecting their best selves onto us. Nope. They’re throwing their fears, insecurities, and unresolved issues right onto your beautiful blank canvas. Now, don’t get me wrong—sometimes, they think they’re helping. But in reality, they’re just painting over your potential with their version of the truth. Urgh.

The Fog of Insecurity
So, how does this happen? How do we go from being confident and self-assured (or at least pretending to be) to questioning our every move? It all comes down to insecurity. When we’re unsure of who we are, we start looking to others for clues. It’s like losing your keys and hoping someone else has them. But here’s the thing: no one else has your keys—they’re yours!

The problem is that when we lack a strong sense of self, we’re vulnerable to outside influences. We become sponges, soaking up whatever others throw our way. The more we absorb, the less we recognise our true selves. It’s like being in a fog, and each external opinion is another layer of mist, making it harder to see clearly.

But here’s the good news: just as you can get lost, you can also find your way back.

Taking Back Your Power
So, how do you break free from the opinions of others and start living as your true self? First things first: stop giving away your power. Easier said than done, I know. But the moment you realise that no one else gets to define who you are—that’s when everything changes.

You have to start rejecting the voices and opinions that don’t belong to you. Politely tell them, “Thanks, but no thanks!” Remember, not every opinion deserves a seat at the table of your life. If you wouldn’t let someone into your house wearing muddy shoes, why would you let them track their opinions all over your soul?

Own Your Truth
Now, let’s get to the fun part: owning your truth. What does this mean? It means getting real with yourself about who you are, what you want, and what you value. It means tuning out the noise and listening to your inner voice—the one that’s been whispering to you all along.

Start asking yourself the big questions:

• What do I actually enjoy doing?
• What makes me feel alive?
• What values are non-negotiable for me?

The more you explore these questions, the clearer your self-portrait becomes. And here's a little secret: the more confident you are in who you are, the less you care about what others think. When you know yourself deeply, their opinions become background noise—like lift music you can easily tune out.

You Are More Than Enough
At the end of the day, the only person who truly knows you is you. And guess what? That’s more than enough. You don’t need someone else to tell you how to live your life or define who you are. You already have everything you need to craft your identity—your values, your passions, your experiences. They’re all part of your unique story, and no one else gets to rewrite it.

So, take a deep breath, roll your shoulders back, and own your truth. The world doesn’t need another version of someone else—it needs the real you, flaws and all. Because that version? It’s the most powerful and authentic one there is. 

Want to own your truth and step into your authentic self, check out my therapeutic coaching sessions, drop me an email [email protected] for details. 

© 2024 Shamala Tan